4/17 What do you need?
A couple summers ago I traveled with the Westmont Women's basketball team to Uganda. I cried myself to sleep the first night because of how much I missed (then 1 year old) Ry, but the rest of the trip I cried more often over the beauty I saw. Everywhere. We made house visits to the most humbly broken and fractured people across villages surrounding Kampala. They had close to nothing tangible to carry or call their own and yet they carried no shame. They presented themselves fully broken and fully whole at the same time. It mesmerized me.
There's a lot of processing to do with college women (most of whom had never traveled outside of the US) when walking and shaky-bus driving through the towns and fields of Uganda. We cried and got angry. We felt intense joy and debilitating frustration. We didn't leave with many concrete, immovable thoughts but one stuck with us through the trip and even after: A breathtaking respect for the Ugandan people. And here's why:
Each Ugandan we met carried a beautiful awareness of his/her own need. That unhidden need made God bigger than we had ever experienced before.
Need can make God HUGE. If we choose him as provider of our needs.
So- this week- with Austin traveling for 7 days & 6 nights straight. Here's what I need: help. A lot of it.
FIRST- I need to say being the lone parent for any length of time is hard. If you do this- EVER- you need to know and acknowledge that too.
SECOND- I need people.
- I needed Jord to come over to watch the girls so Austin and I could have a date and time to uninterruptedly connect before he went.
- I need the college girls to come to my house for Bible Study instead of meeting at Syd's so I don't need a sitter tonight.
- I need Heidi to come over Tuesday to watch the girls so I can go to an apt to make me better.
- I need Britt to speak at UCSB FCA so I don't need to worry about what to teach that night. .
- I need Hannah to hang with me and my girls so I can have an at least adult conversation.
- I need quiet nights to myself to sit, read, and regroup.
- I need a hug from my sister- which will happen Friday. (!!)
- Mostly I need Jesus. I need to be okay with neediness, bring him mine- completely unhidden- and expect him to provide in ways that will make him HUGE.
May we be beautifully aware of our own neediness today. And may God be BIG as a result.
Being able to articulate need is such a gift. Especially if the first fruits of your needs are met by the one who promises to provide every need according to his glorious riches. What bout you? What do you need?