The next two questions are courtesy of one of my mentors, Cheryl Baird. One of the first times we met together she asked me these questions. Then waited in silence. Pushing passed terrified, I thought about it and answered as honestly as I could.
4/21 Where are you aching?
My stomach aches. (The literal answer to the question) I wrote about stomach woes a week ago and have since discovered that these stomach issues most likely started as a result of the norovirus running through my system as an early 30th birthday present last January. Apparently sicknesses like these can change up the way a gut functions, what it is able to break down, and how tough it used to be. (For the record stress and hormones of pregnancy didn't help either!)
Physically aching seems to ache and break all other parts of me. Physical pain has been my story- the way God gets my attention and draws me back to my knees. Physical ache exposes the aches within my heart, mind and soul simultaneously.
I ache today for the lost. Feeling lost and isolated this last season has opened my eyes to the lost all around me. I see sadness and scared everywhere I look. I can recognize it quickly now. There's something about carrying pain- some kind of heart tenderization that happens- that allows you to identify it in your fellow-travelers.
Oh friend, God doesn't waste pain. He doesn't misuse our ache. There is buried purpose behind every frayed and tattered heart-scrap we bring him.
Even if the only good out of this season is that I see pain more profoundly, more compassionately in others- wow- is that worth it. It doesn't make the ache less painful- but it does make it more bearable somehow.
He is near and he saves. When we're brokenhearted and crushed. He is near and he saves. Praise His Name.